Our litres class went on a bushwalk to omery creek to see the beach but then we had to walk back . I couldn't walk with energy cause I can’t stand the smell well we were walking it smelt like a dead rat. The bad thing was I was dehydrated our teacher was walking like he didn't need any walter. running really fast I tripped over cause my shoes laysses got untied man I got embarrassed .Finally we made it to the pt england reserve I boosted to the tap to have a long drink. But I did not realize that mr s was counting and there was people at the back saying ‘’ HURRY UP’’. walking back to school I finally had energy to run. I am never going back in the there again.
3 comments:
Hello Leka, my name is Ashley Mothershead. I attend the University of South Alabama in Mobile, AL. This was quite an interesting story. It really made me laugh when you said it smelled like dead rat. That must have been awful. When you are writing a post, make sure to always check for spelling and grammatical errors. In your first sentence you wrote, "...to see the beach but then we had to walk back." Instead of saying "but," I would use an "and" because you walked there AND back. In your second sentence you wrote "cause." Make sure to write "because." Then you said, "...stand the smell well we were..." It should say, "...stand the smell where we were..." Next, be sure to put a period after the word "walking" in your second sentence and capalitize "it" and "smelt" should be "smelled." From there on out, you have a few more errors in your writing but that is okay because peer editing is a key requirement when it comes to writing. Just try to always double check your writing for misspelled words, run-on or fragment sentences, and capitilization errors. Overall, I loved your story about your class trip to the beach. I really enjoyed your picture of where you went also. If you have any questions or comments you would like to share with me, you can email me at ashleymo0817@gmail.com or visit my class blog at mothersheadashleyedm310.blogspot.com.
Thanks for commenting on my blog I really like your comment it made me happy.
Hello Leka,
I think you done a fab job and you should keep
it up.
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